Me and My Thoughts 11

I found this website and thought I should share it. I even added my own thoughts and posted ont he site. I can not for the life of me understand why so many people are angry at JWs. They should be angry at Satan for all the evil that came to their hearts that made them turn away from God.

Tim Martin

Hello, my name is Timothy Babcock and I wanted to breifly share my story. I was adopted at the age of three, and grew up on a small country family farm in Upstate NY. My adoptive mother died when I was 18. From the earliest times I can recall, my adoptive father swore at me, called me terrible names, he hit me, once in the head with his closed fist, and with all the power he could put behind it. Week after week, Month after month, year after year, for about roughly 15 years, I was told I was worthless, I was told I could never do anything right. I was called Bastard, SOB, even called a cock sucker. All of this from a man who was a baptized witness. I left home in March of 1992,...at the age of 26. I had stayed home until that age for two reasons, the second reason being the most powerful one. 1. I stayed home, because after mom had died I didnt want dad to be alone. 2. I was afraid to leave home. I believed that he had the right to find me and bring me back home had I left. I didnt know I had rights at the age of 26!!! I had been told for so many years that I could never leave home!

Anyway, today, I have nothing to do with my entire family, adoptive and biological. They all try to tell me that the abuse is just something I made up! They all have turned the ears away from the truth. Me? I have to move on, even if it means being completely alone. I have nothing to do with Jehovah's Witnesses to this date. I have turned myself away from all religion, not even having a desire to join a church, as in my mind, anymore,..they are all FAKE! Thank you.

Mike Zeman

Tim,
Thanks for sharing your story. I believe all JW's are victims of different degrees of abuse or at the very least, mind control. I am sorry that you had to endure such a hard life. There are many good people out there. And many, like myself, want to help other ex-JW's realize that there is hope and freedom outside the Society. I disagree with your statement that ALL churches are fake. Many, if not most are. But that would mean that ALL people are fake, because churches are made up of people.
I wish you the best and feel free to ask me about any questions regarding the JW's or anything else.

Tim Martin

LOL,. I have to say, that I'm not surprised at all with the lack of responses to my life story. It's been a pretty reliable experience that people just dont care. I know that I'm not the only one on Earth that was abused, but my life story is just as valid as anyone elses, unless,...I'm wrong, like always!

Jan Pierce

Thansk for sharing Tim I believe you and I'm sorry that you went through that. If youre not in therapy already, go, and put this shit in the proper perspective in your life. The JW's are a sorry bunch. I hope the best for you. Visit silentlambs.org you'll find more sincerity for your circumstances there.

Debra Jones

Tim;
My name is Debra Jones, and I live in Winnipeg MB Canada now. I haven't enough tears for the abuse suffered at the hands of these mind twisting JW's. I was born and raised by JW parents, but I wasn't smart enough to leave till I was 27yrs old. My Biological Mother and Sister had left many years earlier. But my Brother went through very much the same abuse you speak of by my Father. I too want to, or feel the need for companianship, and a family. I am 36 years old now though, the clock seams to be ticking and I'm still dealing with PTSD (Poast Traumatic Stress Disorder) every day of my life. I care deeply for others, and I always wanted to be a nurse or a Therapist for others who deal with these wounds. I want you to know, someone does care. I Care. You are not alone' I see over 100 web sites like this one, just within Canada and USA. I hope you find your way, I want you to feel better, but I know how hard that is.

Bianca Troy

You have been thru a lot up until the age of 26 and now you are doing your own thing which sounds like the best thing ever because now you can learn and move on. It takes time but every day you can make positive choices, will take time but is worth it!! I don't like religion either!
I can see how you we're afraid and intimidated, sounds like you have been abused and neglected but you are the one in control of your life now and can make the best decisions for you! There are so many abused people in this world and very little any of us can do other than alert social services, teachers, police etc
Everyone needs to make sure they stay balanced and strong with a support group around them! ie. Friends, counsellors etc

Tim Martin

Hi, everyone. Wow, I'm excited that this topic went somewhere. I've never felt i had a voice before, this may take some getting used too. Thanks so much for the respones, Jan, Deb, Mike, how much this means to me. I too have PTSD, when I learned of this, it was hard to swallow.

I do pretty good most of the time on Paxel. I have noticed when I miss a day or two of my dogages, It's fast how I revert back to where I was. It's almost like I need to have the drug to keep, Mr.Hyde at bay.

From time to time, I still have the recurring dreams where I am hiding from Carl, in abandoned old cars, or in a field of tall grass. It's crazy.But I keep pluggin along,....

Mike Zeman
I hope we can be of some help. I am sorry that you have had such a hard time with your transition. It was very hard for me for a while. I had some great people to lean on.

Hope you get some more support on JWR. It is great.

Danyelle Webber

there are ups and downs in every religion. If you choose to believe and live by that religion that is your choice. I was born a witness, was away many yrs as a teen and now at the age of 36 I can not phathom why so many people are angry. I love my congregation. When I was to be baptized last yr, my car broke down 300 miles away from home. A few members pitched in and helped us get back and forth, gave us money for food each day and also helped us home. They ever rented a hitch helped us get back there to get our car and even fixed it. I know of no other religion or church I have been in who has done so much. The abuse I hear which I know a few of, are from people who claim to be witnesses and do not live the lifestyle as this is not just a religion it is a lifestyle change. I was doing witchcraft, smoking pot, and drinking and I almost had an affair. When I started studying 2 yrs ago again, I stopped smoking, threw away most of the witchcraft junk and started loving my husband more. I hate where I live in Florida but I only stay because I and my husband love our congregation. 3 yrs ago I spent 3 months making xmas cards for all my friends got noen in return, bought gifts for everyone's b-day, got nothing in return, and so on. Now I have money in my pocket, love in my heart and would not trade my religion for any other. I had doubts for a while and lots of questions, I stepped back a few months and researched all questions I had. All answers were in the Bible. Examples: why can't women preach on the podem? Answer God put men in charge for a reason and do I really want to be the one on the podem telling people what to do or preach his words while everyone is watching me and my actions. Heck No! I preach I preach more than most men in the congregation as most have to support their families. My husband and I now have a better marriage. He is my best friend, my soulmate. We have daily text reading together and pray each day. I feel if any religion can help me do this why would I want to change or leave. Yes no religion is perfect as we are all human and not Jesus. So if you feel it is not right for you then by all mean leave. You must agree and believe everything you are taught or you will be miserable. Both my uncle and mom left. My mom died miserable and my uncles are happy. So it is how and what you make of it. If the congregation you are in makes you unhappy try another one. and if you are still unhappy that religion is not for you. my best friend went with us in June tothe district convention this yr. She was unsure if she want to be a witness or not even after studying 10 yrs. She got her answers at the convention. She has a few convetions she is not willing to compromise on so she is choosing not to become a witness. I do not hate her or feel depressed for her. We stil talk religion and never belittle each other's opinion on certain things. She still wil not celebrate xmas or do b-days andshe prays every day to Jehovah and reads her Bible. This did not change that for her. She is not angry or disappointed in her choice. So I am happy for her. Even though most of my family turned their back on Jehovah I still love them. My dad and step mom and grandmother are proud of me. I just hope in time everyone who was so called hurt by this religion can let go and let God take it. I pray everyday for everyone that they find their own hearts and find God in one form or another because he does work.

My Thoughts 10

In June I started working out and was at 190 pounds and had a BMI level of 37. Now i weigh 175 and have a BMI level of 34. I got some exercise tapes I like, do that a few times a week. I also bought the Shake Weight, Two 2 pound balls, a medicine ball 55", and Jillian Michaels kettle bells. I also joined the Biggest Loser Club.com for 3 months it cost $39. I also write down everything I eat each day. I started a blog as well to help keep my thoughts in order when i get frustrated. I do eat healthier, food is not my life anymore, when I get mad or sad I write on my blog. I put pics of me at 190 pounds all over the house and car. I also put a pic of someone who inspires me on my fridge on cell. I also bought the NuWave Oven which cooks food healthier and faster. I hope this help anyone who is reading.  The pics are of me after I lose 15 pounds so far. Will keep adding more as I loose.

My Thoughts 9

   I know I have been away awhile. I did a lot of soul searching. I had a long chat with a soon to be ex-friend and realize who my true friends are. People can not call themselves friends if put down your relationships and religion down. That is the last straw. It does not matter if you are drinking or sober. It is not done. So things are going to rapidly change and I hope it goes well. I choose my marriage and religion. Friends come and go. I need friends in my life who will better it and not tear it down. I think it is time for all of us to step back a few minutes and evaluate our lives and relationships and decide who and what will benefit you better. I am not saying if you do not have something to offer me I leave you behind. I am saying if you hinder my life and relationships with my marriage or God then it is time to say good- bye.
   OK today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am getting rid of a lot of baggage in my life. Useless friends, food and items. I am simplifying my life. I started in June weighing 190 pounds. Now I weigh 175 pounds. My goal is to weigh 120 to 130. I am 5 feet 0 inches tall. I am at BMI level 34. When I first started my exercise program I was at BMI level 37. So that is a great start. So we will see where I go from here. OK time to take hubby to work and then for me to start my workout for the day.