Today is a brand new day and a new week. So what are we to do? I had a wake up call this morning. it was a hard one. I cried for a while and realize I need to let go and Let God do his thing. it is a hard lesson I had to learn today.
OK let me go back a few yrs. let's say 8 yrs. I was doing great working at Pizza Hut, had a nice house and a great husband. Well I met this girl at work and she (long story get into that another time) introduced me to Wicca/witchcraft. i thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. I was happy (so I thought). I was always online with my wiccan friends and doing lots of spells and so much more. I even had a 9 foot circle in my back yr with an altar set up and the whole 9 yrs. Well i was so into this new found nature-based religion that I was not being the wife I should be. I got on computer the minute husband left work and was still on it long after he went to bed. i got only minimal sleep each night. I even joined a school to learn wiccan related things such as wands 101, tarot reading 101 and carnelian tradition 101 and 102. I was having the time of my life. I finally found the religion of my dreams. I could worship God or many gods as I see fit. then to boom hit. Husband was angry, we fought all the time, he made his own dinners, cleans the house and even went back and forth to work alone. he started to have an affair. He wanted a divorce. So I began the process to give it to him. Well to say the least it did not happen. I fought for my marriage. I fought hard. yet I was still doing Wicca/witchcraft and hubby was still hating it. He could not even walk beside me in the grocery store. I was a joke. Then finally I got a wake up call, a knock on the door. I was not ready for it. A friend of my fathers was standing there ready to offer me a Bible study. OK Dad just to please you I will do it. it was ok I mean I learned this all as a child so I did not take it to seriously. I missed the studies time and time again. Well she went back up north and we moved so she had a hard time finding me again. but low and behold she did a few yrs later. this time I said ok let's try this again. Marriage was rocking, living was rocking and my new found religion was a joke to Hollywood and everyone else around. So ok I started the Bible study and I began to love the company I was in, loved the words that I read and started loving Jehovah again. I was in a chapter about spiritism and I broke down. A hard breakdown! I started getting rid of everything I owned that dealt with spiritism and so on, i even burned my BOS(book of Shadows). I attended meetings at the Kingdom Hall and then started going out in service.
So there I was having the time of life learning to love Jehovah again but what was missing? Oh yes my husband being as happy as I was. So he came one day and started asking question and next thing I knew he was having his own study. Well it was time I was almost done with my second book and I was at a meeting when Jehovah hit me in the head and say "Go For It!" get baptized. I talked tot he local elder and set up the meetings. But that night was the worse night of my life, so I thought. Satan did not want to hear I was leaving him and joining Jehovah. i had to worse nightmare, it was so vivid. It made my heart race and my body sweat so bad the sheets were soaked. I vowed then and there to Jehovah for help that I was going to do this no matter what stood in my way. Well July 24, 2010 I was baptized.
OK back to date. A yr later I started having doubts again and questioning every move the organization did and why I could not do certain things. I talked to a friend who had the same questions and then I stood back about 4 months. I stopped going to meetings, stopped doing the preaching work and did not associate with anyone. So there I was unhappy again. my questions unanswered. So after talking to a friend who decided not to be a witness, I felt I needed answers of my own. So I went to the only source I knew to be true the Bible, It was not easy finding the answers, yet it was easy. i just had to look at the right place and ask the right questions. I found them. it took a while. About 6 months.
By this time I was starting to loose weigh 5 pounds, 10 pounds, and so on. slowly going back to meetings and friend still questioning me on certain things. She told me if I am doubting my religion I should not be doing certain things in that religion. Ok I get it. how can I preach a religion I have doubts in. the more and more time I spent with my friend the more and more I began to appreciate her and her views and see everything she is going through. She left Jehovah and now she is miserable. I was not. I had a happy marriage friends in the congregation who loved me and no worries. Then an other friend got me in public and changed all that. She put down my marriage, my friends in the religion and even the religion itself. So I gave my husband the permission and he told her off and ended that friendship, even if it meant loosing not just her but also her son and my stepfather. I cried inside for a week.
Well I was having a couple small doubts but knew what I had to do, get back full force and pick up were I left off. It was not until this morning it happened, another nightmare. this time involving people who I knew and loved. Will not go into detail at this time. I woke up in tears and cried a few minutes. and now I am here. This is the hardest thing I will have to do, after tomorrow, I will have to say No more often and devote my life to Jehovah and my husband more. Friends who do not spiritually help me will either have to go or be put on the back burner. I will have to give up a few things like game apps and purge more in my house to get rid of anything with the hint of Satan in it. Even it that means loosing a few friends in the process. I just hope they understand and respect me for it. I WILL N OT LET SATAN WIN!!!!!! So as of today if you are deleted from my life please do not take it personally. I am doing what I feel is right and in my heart. I hope if we meet again someday you can forget me and understand why this had to be this way,
Love Danyelle-Maria Michelle-Dawn Adams-Webber
Dedicated to Jehovah for the second time Sept. 18, 2011.
May God give you the strength you need to go on in this world and to be the best you can be in his eyes for his will and for his kingdom.
